Articles

Alternative Flight

The following commentary is the first contribution to SBM by guest author, Mark Crislip.

The airline industry in the United States is often used as an example of a complex technological system that provides high volume, inexpensive and reliable transportation to millions of people every year, that, despite sending tons of aluminum five miles into the air, has an amazing safety record. Crashes and deaths are rare despite the high intrinsic risk of flight.

It is often suggested that the policies and procedures that have been used in the airline industry be applied to health care to help increase the safely and performance of hospitals and to lower complications and deaths.

Some airline methodologies have been applied to health care with good results.

Airlines have many of the same characteristics of health care and many of the same problems in providing for their customers. The airlines are monolithic industries that often treat their passengers like cattle, all of a kind, rather than unique individuals with unique travel needs.

The airlines often don’t tell us what is going on. All of us have experienced delays or flight turbulence and nothing from the pilot but patriarchal platitudes about seat-belts and finding a new altitude with less wind. They often hide the true nature of the problem, feeling that the passengers are unable to understand or cope, ignoring, as a classic example, the creature in the shag carpet who is tearing off bits of the wing.

And that’s not to mention overbooking, canceled flights, poor food, late arrivals, an underlying technology that is environmentally damaging, and lost baggage. Something needs to be done.

It is time the medical field returned the favor and helped aviation.

The solution lies in the success that as occurred in health care. The revolution in health care improvement due to embracing complementary and alternative medicine needs to be applied to aviation. The precepts, ancient wisdom, and alternative ways of knowing that have been fostered by the CAM movement need to be applied to commercial aviation.

We need Alternative Aviation, or AA.

Americans want choice. Americans are increasingly using alternative aviation. A recent government study suggests that 75% of Americans have attempted some form of alternative flight, which includes everything from ultralights to falling, tripping and use of bungee cords.

Philosophy

The underlying philosophy of AA is simple. People need to be free to choose their mode of flight based on alternative concepts of gravity and alternative airplane design.

Current Western reductionist concepts of gravity revolve around European white men and their understanding of the universe through the scientific ‘method’ of experimentation. The current concept of gravity from Einstein and his Theory of Relativity, whereby ‘mass’ causes ‘space-time’ to ‘warp’ and this is what Science calls gravity. This theory (and remember it is just a theory) is only one narrow way of defining gravity, one way of knowing gravity. There are other ways of knowing and an equal number of ways to understand gravity and flight. Alternative aviation operates using holistic, environmentally friendly, passenger centric methodologies the allow the passenger to be involved with all aspects of their airline flight. By actively applying the concepts of complementary and alternative medicine to the airline industry the successful revolution that has occurred in health care can now be seen in air transportation.

Airplane design

Current airplane design is based upon a white male Western European model of what powered flight should look like. Long metal tubes with wings are a phallic design that insults the sensibilities of women, who have an alternative, more natural, emotional, way of understanding airplane design. In the one size fits all design of allopathic airlines, alternative designs are ignored and airplane design utilizing the ideas and esthetics of indigenous peoples and ancient flying traditions are derided as primitive and unscientific, despite centuries of successful use.

Science says these indigenous and ancient alternative designs cannot fly. Science also says the bumblebee cannot fly. Yet common experience demonstrates that the bumblebee can fly. It is Science that lacks imagination and an understanding of the true underlying reality of nature.

For example, the “cargo cult” in the Pacific used Western shapes for their planes but rather than aluminum, they used local organic materials. The result was an airplane design that by Western standards cannot fly, but the indigenous people used for transportation between their islands for decades.

This is only one example of alternative airplane design. Globes, squares and even saucers have been used through recorded history for alternative aviation. The ancient Chinese, the Egyptians and the Indians all designed and flew aircraft of variable shapes; the evidence of their flight is inscribed in carvings on their temples and buildings. And we need not be limited to aluminum and plastic. Ancient cultures have used earth friendly materials to build flying machines that function as well as modern airplanes, but avoiding the adverse effects on the environment. Alternative aviation will make use of these ancient designs and materials to make the aircraft of the future today.

Flight technology

Western flight has been based on the outmoded concepts of gravity as defined by the late European male Albert Einstein, as well as the reductionist, mechanical concepts of Newtonian physics. Burning fossil fuels to provide ‘‘thrust” (more male centered oppression) has lead to an environmental catastrophe. Alternative aviation is about choice in airplane design as well as in methods used to power a plane; emphasizing a passenger centric, organic, harmonious, earth friendly flight.

There are alternative concepts for countering gravity and flight. A google search will yield many sites describing both modern and ancient concepts of gravity and methods to interact organically and harmoniously with gravity, rather than trying to defeat or overcome it. Some are simple. An example is the technique of Arthur Dent who discovered one could fly if one simply threw themselves at the ground and missed. Some of our planes will be powered with the Dent method.

The Dent method for countering gravity is not for everyone. Meditation with its higher levels of consciousness, can lead to levitation. By all the passengers harnessing their energies in a focused way, some planes can be powered by transcendental meditation.

There are the various harmonic energies made by all organic and inorganic materials that if, properly aligned, can lead to flight. Reiki, Johrei, Qi gong, and magnetic lay lines are a few of the natural energies that can be harnessed by passengers to provide lift and flight, with no adverse effects on the passengers or the environment.

Quantum mechanics demonstrates that an electron takes many simultaneous paths to go from point a to point b. Only when the wave function is collapsed does the electron reach its destination. We have a prototype quantum airplane what will be able to simultaneously transport a passenger to all their destinations and with a simple collapse of the wave function the passenger will be at their destination of choice. With quantum aviation one can take the path less traveled and make a difference. In the quantum realm, our mind makes both our reality and our travel destination.

Aviation based on principals of homeopathy is especially promising. Airplanes, once they have flown their route, remember the route due to the principals of quantum complementarity. Then by making the planes smaller and slower by repeated factors of 10, planes can carry more passengers, go faster and farther with each aeronautic dilution.

Airplanes can incorporate all of these modalities and more. Passengers can choose their preferred method of air transportation. Pilots can be certified in the appropriate alternative aviation methodologies. So for example, one flight will be based on combining the harmonic energies of the airplane and the passengers to provide lift and forward motion to their destination, while another flight can use the Dent technique. Not every alternative aviation modality is for every passenger, but trained aviation guides and practitioners can work with each passenger to determine which alternative aviation best suits their transportation needs.

Testing of Airplanes

There may be concerns raised as to the flight worthiness of the airplanes.

Do not worry. While the FAA prohibits the testing of these airplanes at US airports, there are many testimonials that these planes work, that they will transport you safely to your destination. The wisdom of past generations, which have used these modalities for air travel, ensure their effectiveness and safety.

Why has the FAA prohibited testing? Partly due to the power of the big airline manufacturers such as Boeing and Airbus. Their profits are at risk by alternative aviation. Also, the FAA uses a closed-minded outmoded scientific model to judge the flight-worthiness of airplanes, requiring extensive pre-flight testing in wind tunnels, computer-aided design models, then extensive and expensive testing. Given the cost of testing a new airplane and the fact that there’s little money to be made by using alternative methodologies it’s unlikely they will ever be tested by “standard ”scientific methods.

However, the Congress will be funding the National Center of Alternative and Complementary Aviation, which will provide funding for alternative flight research and design, so that the science of alternative aviation can be more fully elucidated. Further research into these and other forms of aviation will greatly benefit the American flying public. The NCACA would not have been possible without Congressman Hom Tarken who sponsored the bill that funded the NCACA after he was convinced that Bumblebees could, indeed fly and he wanted to know why. We mourn his passing from an allergic reaction to bee pollen; his advocacy for alternative aviation will be missed.

Integrating Complementary and Alternative Aviation

Not every one will be comfortable using only alternative aviation as a method for transportation. It is important to integrate alternative aviation into the current airline industry. If, for example you were flying on United or Continental, you can apply some these alternative aviation modalities to make for a safer and more efficient flight. These methodologies are not necessarily a replacement for allopathic flight but rather can complement standard aviation methods.

For example, while traveling cross country in a 767 you can focus your Qi dong to harmonize with the airplane to decrease the mass of the airplane and provide a more efficient forward motion. Or collapse your personal wave function to arrive at your destination early. Many passengers have benefited greatly by applying alternative aviation techniques to the allopathic airlines. They found as a result the flights were smoother, it was on time or even early, the food tasted better, the beer and wine were free, and their baggage was the first off the carousel. Many report a sense of increased well-being and energy rather than jet lag. To date, no one who has applied alternative aviation to their flight has died in an airplane crash that was due to the use alternative modalities. The safety and efficacy of alternative aviation techniques when integrated into allopathic air travel has been proven beyond question.

The Future

Because of FAA regulations, initially flights will not be available at United States airports. Initial flights will begin on the South rim of the Grand Canyon.

The first flight will be based on meditative levitation and, to give the plane an initial boost, there will be ramp down which the plane will slide before being launched into the concentrated magnetic energies of the Grand Canyon to help keep the plane aloft before levitation takes over. Be on the first historic flight.

Help bring all the benefits of complementary and alternative medicine to aviation.

Posted in: Science and Medicine

Leave a Comment (23) ↓

23 thoughts on “Alternative Flight

  1. NYCSkeptic says:

    Brilliant – great first entry!

  2. Skeptico says:

    Nice first post “Mr Crislip”.

  3. jonny_eh says:

    Great article! Reminds me of: http://www.theness.com/articles.asp?id=2

    It’s interesting that medicine, which is an applied science (another term for engineering), can have an ‘alternative’.

  4. Ben.slss says:

    This is one of funniest things I have read in long while. My micromachine and I are going to go homeopathicly fly around the world a few times. Now if I can just figure out how to sit in it…

  5. Simon says:

    I like this principal of applying homeopathy to other sciences. That is why I’m reading blogs now instead of revising- the more I dilute my knowledge the better it’ll work for me!

  6. DBonez says:

    It all makes sense considering gravity is nothing more than intelligent falling.

    How about homeopathic anesthesia prior to surgery? See how that works when you begin to cut.

    Homeopathic orthopedics?

    Complimentary and Alternative Dentistry?

    Alternative Aviation, that’s great. Thanks for making my day.

  7. psamathos says:

    Ah, the Dent method. I can say from personal experience that it works best when you’re really, really drunk.

  8. Wicked Lad says:

    Sweet, and so true. Thank you, Dr. Crislip.

    We have a prototype quantum airplane what will be able to simultaneously transport a passenger to all their destinations and with a simple collapse of the wave function the passenger will be at their destination of choice.

    Choice, that.

  9. Harriet Hall says:

    Some say we could all fly if we really believed we could, or if we tried hard enough, or if we created our own reality. I’m still waiting for someone to stand on a train track and create a reality where the train doesn’t hit him. :-)

  10. daskawicz says:

    Brilliant! Thanks!

    I would send it to all my friends who believe in alternative medicine if I thought it would do any good.

    I also like the suggestion by another reader about homeopathic anaesthesia. I have so start recommending that to believers as a test to see how confident they are in the powers of homeopathy.

  11. I am absolutely delighted to hear that Alternative Flight is FINALLY getting the press that it deserves! However, I was disappointed that the author did not mention all the fine scientists combing the Northern European Woods and the Harry Potter books in search of just the right trees and just the right straw to make the flying brooms of our ancestors, The Witches, with. Neither did he mention the very special scientists who are secretly searching deep in the Rain Forrests and consulting with Native Healers in their efforts to replicate the exact diet of the birds that live hidden in the depths of the jungle so that they can process all those natural seeds and fruits into supplements that will make people grow wings and fly like birds. Oh, excuse me! Did I say process? I meant extract, extract the essential essences of all of those marvelously natural, organic plants that make birds grow wings and fly.

  12. tailspin45 says:

    As a frequent flyer—pilot even; and as an occasional patient— hospitalized even, I say you should take this ball and roll with it. But why stop with aviation? Wouldn’t NASA benefit too?

    Brilliant

    Tom
    http://undress4success.com

  13. flyfishdan says:

    Brilliant and funny. If now we could only convince all those homeopaths and their supporters to join the inaugural flight

  14. Aaron S. says:

    This was hilarious. Also, my major happens to be Aeronautical Engineering…go figure ;)

  15. bachfiend says:

    I’d thought that this was a serious article, right up to the point Dr Crisplin mentioned the Arthur Dent method of flying. It was only then that I realised there was something fishy; it was, of course, Ford Prefect who was trying to perfect that form of aviation.

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