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The Evil League of Evil is Nothing in Comparison

Transcribed minutes of a meeting, provenance unknown.

Chairman: “I would like to call this emergency meeting to order and thank you all for coming under short notice.  If there are no objections, I will dispense with the usual formalities and get right to the business at hand.”

Murmur of approval.

Chairman: Ladies, Gentleman and Demons of all kinds, we have been, to use the vernacular of the day, outed.”

Murmur of consternation

Voice from the crowd: “I am most certainly not gay.”

Chairman: “Not gay.  We have been outed as a society. The Evil Society of the Evil Medical Industrial Complex, our beloved ESEMIC,  is no longer secret.  Our works have been discovered.  The true meaning of the Caduceus has been published for all to see.  And by your fruits you shall be known.  Sorry demons”

Louder murmur of consternation.

Loud voice from the crowd: “I demand to know how this occurred.  This is impossible.”

Shouts of agreement.

Chairman:  “If you will please all remain calm, I will explain.”

Pause.

Chairman: “As you know, our symbol is the Caduceus, two snakes entwined on a staff with wings on the top.  For years we have been promulgating the story that this became a symbol of medicine on accident.”

“Most of the world uses the single serpent entwined staff of Asklepios, the ancient Greco-Roman God of medicine, as the symbol of medicine. Not, however, the US. “

“We like to say it was due to the ignorance of one Captain Frederick Reynolds of the United States Army Medical Core, who, in 1902, as part of a uniform redesign, suggested the Caduceus as the symbol of the medical Corps.”

“We spent a not small amount of time and money fabricating correspondence between Captain Reynolds and the Surgeon General demonstrating that Captain Reynolds did not know the difference between a Caduceus and the staff of Asklepios.  Captain Reynolds assured the Surgeon General that the Caduceus was the universal symbol of medicine, when in fact is was a printers mark, a branding, found on medical texts of the time.”

“We managed to make it look like it was an accident that a printers branding mark became the symbol of US medicine.  We even had to change Surgeon Generals to make sure the Caduceus was accepted.”

Voice in the crowd: “Er, if the correspondence had to be manufactured then why did we have to change the Surgeon General?”

Pause

Chairman: ” I wasn’t there at the time.  But you can’t be too careful.  For the last century, as a result of its widespread adoption, the Caduceus has been furthering our agenda by powerful subconscious mind control due to its subliminal iconography.”

Another voice in the crowd: “I have been meaning to ask this for years.  Since virtually no one in the US has any knowledge of Greek history, how can the Caduceus, or any symbol, exert any subconscious influence.  If a staff or a snake or a wing are just those to the observer, how can have any effect? Isn’t a  cigar sometimes just a cigar?”

Pause.

Chairman:  “That is the power of symbols.  Even if the observer has zero understanding of the symbolic significance of the symbol, it still transmits the information into the brain.  Symbols have memory, unlike water.  It is, as I understand these things, a quantum mechanical effect.”

“Be that as it may, we have been found out.  The true nature and use of the Caduceus has been revealed on the interwebs for all to see and we need to decide what to do about it.”

Voice in the audience: “So exactly what happened.”

Chairman:  “It was, of course, the Natural News.”

Loud hub bub of anger.

Chairman. “Yes the Natural News.  Only the Weekly World News has been a greater thorn in our side in our quest for world medical domination. How they continue to find and publish the truth that we don’t want them to know I cannot understand.  I wonder if we have a traitor in out midst.”

“But that is a topic for another meeting. We are investigating.”

“Natural news published expose on the Caduceus entitled “The Caduceus Decoded: Secret Symbols Reveal Dark Agenda of Western Medicine “

“Our greatest secret laid bare.”

I quote

“That the two snakes representing evil would encircle the staff of public announcement could be an indication that the purpose of the staff is to announce evil (the propaganda of western medicine). At the same time, the mythological carrier of the staff is the protector of liars and thieves (the drug promoters and drug companies).”

“Fortunately they fail to realize that we have to power to see into the future.  Thats how we knew that 100 years before the rise of the medical industrial complex and our beloved society, that we would need a symbol to demonstrate our mission to spread evil and protect big pharma.”

“Let me continue quoting.”

“That the two snakes representing evil would encircle the staff of public announcement could be an indication that the purpose of the staff is to announce evil (the propaganda of western medicine). At the same time, the mythological carrier of the staff is the protector of liars and thieves (the drug promoters and drug companies).”

“Fortunately they fail to realize that we have to power to see into the future.  Thats how we knew that 100 years before the rise of the medical industrial complex and our beloved society, that we would need a symbol to demonstrate our mission to spread evil and protect big pharma.”

“Let me continue quoting.”

“Once you understand the symbology, it becomes quite evident that this prominent symbol of western medicine was not chosen by chance: It sends a powerful subconscious message, much like the symbols of secret societies used on dollar bills, for example (the all-seeing eye floating above the pyramid on the back of the dollar bill). It might even be said that, through the repetition of this symbol which adorns the most important documents and texts used in the medical schools, doctors are, in a very true sense, being continuously indoctrinated with the powerful symbols of evil and death.”

“They are on to us.  They have discovered our true purpose.  Years ago, at the first convocation of the The Evil Society of the Evil Medical Industrial Complex wise heads suggested it would be foolish to broadcast out intent, even in an obscure symbol.  It was voted down.   Such arrogance and hubris on our part, that such power would go unnoticed.  I quote further:”

“And all the while, they sit in their offices, with a dozen diplomas on the walls, many containing the Caduceus symbol that is effectively broadcasting a message into the office space of that doctor, further imprinting his mind with the death agenda of modern medicine.”

“I cannot tell you how upset we are at this revelation.  Our supreme weapon, emanating death and evil and brainwashing all who gaze upon it, revealed to everyone.  We had thought it impossible.  We even had the Caduceus evaluated by Harvard symbolist Robert Langdon, who assured us that the symbology was impenetrable to all but the most brilliant minds.”

Voice from the crowd:  “Um, isn’t Robert Langdon a fictional character?”

Chairman:  “That’s what we want you to believe.”

Murmurs of surprise.

“And our links to our demon brethren are also at risk for exposure.  I quote:”

“If all this sounds a bit odd to you, it might be worth asking yourself this question: Why are all the institutions of power in modern society obsessed with the secret use of such symbols? The entire layout of Washington D.C., for example, is based on Satanic and Masonic symbology…

Why are such symbols printed on our currency? A floating all-seeing eye above a pyramid… Isn’t that a little spooky? But check your own dollars right now: It’s there, keeping an eye on YOU. (It looks similar to the Eye of Sauron from the Lord of the Rings…) Why is the Pentagon, the building occupied by creators of war and death, shaped like a pentagon? The five-sided geometric structure is, of course, closely related to Satanism.”

Voice: Um, doesn’t the dollar predate the Lord of the Rings and isn’t Sauron a fictional character?

Chairman;  “Ask that of our demon brethren.  There really is no such thing as ‘fiction’. Soon they will find our links to Masons, the Trilateral commission, the Iluminatii and  eventually to our Lizard overlords.

Voice: “We can never be traced to our Lizard overlords.”

Chairman:  “Our symbology will lead them right to us. They mention it in the article.  quote If you really want to delve into the bizarre world of symbols and secret societies, read books by David Icke. end quote. Icke is the one who discovered the hidden existence of our lizard overlords, who, by the way, I of course welcome.  It is now just a matter of time before the news is worldwide.”

Voice:  “So what are we to do?”

Chairman “Deny it, of course,  Phrase it right and it will look like the imaginings of a conspiracy theorist.  Stick with the story that the Caduceus is a clerical error with no understood significance beyond branding.  It has no more deeper significance than Golden Arches.  We need to have a uniform front.”

“But we have one card up our sleeve. We managed to get one of our symbolists into the offices of the Natural News.  Our man chose their symbol.”

“A circle of green with swirling leaves.  The hidden message is clear.  The circle is the mouth of a vortex, the leaves are that of death that occurs in the fall, the green the color of putrefaction.  It is a powerful symbol radiating the message that natural medicine will pull you into a vortex of death and disease.  And they do not suspect a thing.  Our symbols are more powerful than theirs and in the end, we will triumph.”

“Be ready my friends.  We have will have further battles to fight. I turn the meeting over to our brother representing pharma…

Here the tape mysteriously ends with a short yelp followed by what sounds oddly like a komodo  dragons eating a piece of meat.

=======

http://www.annals.org/cgi/content/full/138/8/673
http://www.naturalnews.com/026504_medicine_Caduceus_western_medicine.html
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2001/mar/17/features

Posted in: Humor

Leave a Comment (12) ↓

12 thoughts on “The Evil League of Evil is Nothing in Comparison

  1. Esattezza says:

    Mark, that was BRILLIANT! Thank you! The whole time I was reading, I was wondering whether you wrote the quotes yourself or if a paper was actually released that began this, then I got to the links… someone please tell me that Natural News is owned by the Onion… anything that I may preserve my faith in humanity.

  2. Pingback: Conspirama
  3. Any shout out to Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog has got to be funny. And I was not disappointed.

  4. Noadi says:

    Now you need Brian Dunning to help you set that to music. Absolutely brilliant!

  5. The Blind Watchmaker says:

    You crack me up, Mark. I can’t wait to meet you at TAM.

    Keep it comin’.

  6. Rogue Medic says:

    It appears that this caduceus has begun to affect your mind. Take an article from Natural News – C100 strength, read the illegible dilution, remember that the less of Natural News there is, the more sensible Natural News becomes.

  7. I had the article presented to me during the week as a serious expose of “evil organized medicine”. If I had read it in The Onion I would have thought that they had lost the satirical touch by becoming too obvious, but then I saw the disclaimer “Mike Adams” and I knew that it had to be real.

    I propose a quest to rival Lord of the Rings – to find something that alternative medicine supporters will not believe.

  8. Mojo says:

    I propose a quest to rival Lord of the Rings – to find something that alternative medicine supporters will not believe.

    Isn’t whale.to already on that quest?

  9. Citizen Deux says:

    Must stop laughing…losing consciousne…

  10. whamo says:

    I wanted to read the NN post, but I am not willing to register with that sight. The few paragraphs available are a hoot – I agree, not funny enough to be Onion material, absolutely chilling that people listen to this idiot.

  11. Phledge says:

    Groan…

    In my first year of osteopathic medical school (which, btw, like all DO schools, uses the staff of Aesculapius) we were told that the caduceus actually represents Hermes, god of merchants and thieves. Although they never went as far as to suggest that the image reinforces the physician’s thanatos, it’s still pretty embarrassing.

  12. Kultakutri says:

    I clicked the Natural News link and then I died.

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