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Archive for Humor

Vaginal Seeding. Ew. That’s nuts. Hmmm, interesting.

A breakdown of bacterial species from your skin's microbiome. As a favor to

A breakdown of bacterial species from your skin’s microbiome. As a favor to pregnant women expectant fathers teenage boys on the internet everyone, this is the image I went with. Click to macrolaarggen (Ikean for embiggen).

Sometimes a headline will cause me to run through a series of reactions in rapid sequence. For example “Mothers facing C-sections look to vaginal ‘seeding’ to boost their babies’ health”:

Early studies show that swabbing a mother’s vagina and transferring it to her baby’s mouth, eyes and skin may stimulate microbiome development similarly to babies born naturally – and protect it from health issues later in life

I mean ick.

But take a step back. Not really. I tend to think of people like “Pig Pen” in Charlie Brown, shedding skin and bacteria into the environment. If we were to really think about each other’s microbiome, we might not have intimate contact with our significant other. Or any other animal. I always point out, when someone lets their dog lick them, that they (the dog) had probably just licked its rear, AKA dog-ass seeding. And no, a dog’s mouth is not cleaner than a human’s, unless your dog brushes and flosses with greater frequency than you. (more…)

Posted in: Basic Science, Evolution, Faith Healing & Spirituality, Humor, Nutrition

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Chiropractors, Blind Pigs, and Acorns

Sometimes you need to help the blind pig.

Sometimes you need to help the blind pig.

When people are at the end of their life they like to pass on their life lessons. One thing I have never had a patient say is “Doc, I sure wish I had spent more time at work.”

I try and keep that in mind, but then there are those work commitments that are hard to avoid. I need to have a talk with Drs. Gorski and Novella. No one should have write a blog entry any week their team is in the play-offs. The Blazers were not meant to win more than 25 games, much less be the 5th seed in the West with a chance to make the conference finals. I know. Trailblazers fans are not always grounded in reality. But we are up on the Clippers 3–2 and heading home to close out the series tonight. For the record I wrote the preceding sentence during the game 5 tip-off. I really should not have to do any work this week. Basketball is simply more important.

Take this case report. Anywhere else.

Case reports are a tradition in medicine. Usually they are unique or unusual cases, diseases you are likely to see but once in a career, if that. There are all sorts of medical curiosities that need to be reported. I have a blog over at Medscape devoted to Infectious Disease case reports.

Some case reports, however, inspire eye rolls and sniggers. Why are these even reported? (more…)

Posted in: Chiropractic, Clinical Trials, Humor

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The Brown M&M’s of Science-Based Medicine

David Lee Roth. Quality Guru.

David Lee Roth. Quality Guru.

Medicine is constantly changing, and like most health professionals, I am required to maintain my competency to practice. I doubt pharmacists are unique in being inundated with offers of continuing medical/pharmacy education. Some courses are free, some cost hundreds of dollars, and it can be difficult to distinguish the high-quality programs from the biased or low-quality education that furthers a agenda, rather than seeking to truly educate. You can consider the reputation of the provider, or the author, and sometimes the sponsorship gives a clue. When it comes to determining if a program’s content is science-based or not, I find the learning objectives may be all I need to read. One program I saw recently referred to “integrative” approaches to the treatment of an illness. Another claimed it would teach you a  “holistic” approach to managing complex medical condition. Both programs set off skeptical alarm bells. I realized then I’d found the science-based medicine equivalent of a brown M&M. And I have the band Van Halen to thank for that association. (more…)

Posted in: Commentary, Humor, Science and Medicine

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Hiring a Doula for Dental Procedures

complicatedgraph

An inverted quantum matrix proving the myriad benefits of using of a dental doula

Suzy Flanders had always dreamed of having a natural tooth extraction without pain medications, sedation, or local anesthesia, just like in the Bible or on an episode of Keeping Up With Kardashians. “When the day finally came on April 1st 2011, and my dentist recommended the removal of an impacted third molar, I almost couldn’t believe it,” Flanders explained. “After reading everything I could find online and talking to a few trusted friends and family members, the right choice became clear. I had to do what was best for me and for my precious tooth.”

What she found in her research was the consistent recommendation to have someone present during the procedure that had been through the experience themselves. Many proponents of natural dental care endorse this practice because there is evidence that it helps to reduce the need for harmful medications that might prevent a quick return to normal activity. They also argue that a dental procedure is about more than just the removal of an abscessed tooth or the correction of malocclusion, it’s about experiencing what the procedure feels like and discovering what you are capable of achieving. Natural dental care patients learn to manage their pain and remain open to the excitement and exhilaration of the process, and often report feeling higher levels of satisfaction. After all, modern humans have been experiencing the beauty of natural dental pain for 250,000 years.
(more…)

Posted in: Humor, Science and Medicine

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Science-Based Medicine’s Not-So-Psychic Predictions for 2016

May your epididymitis be treated with acupressure!

“May your epididymitis be treated with acupressure by André the Giant!”

The new year is upon us, and with it comes a unique opportunity for the Science-Based Medicine team to look deep into our crystal balls, to channel our Atlantean spirit guides, and to ride the waves of cosmic consciousness in order to bring to you our predictions for 2016. But before you scoff at our collective powers of prognostication, know that we have never made a prediction that has not come to pass. We’ve also never made any official predictions before, but that’s neither here nor there.

In the process of discussing what will become of this new alternative medicine fad (have you heard of it?) in the coming year, I have discovered that the contributors to SBM are all extremely pessimistic. Sadly, the vast majority of the responses to my request for predictions were focused on the future advances of pseudoscience in medicine and the steady decline of our ability to tell the difference between reality and medical fiction. But I agree with each and every one. (more…)

Posted in: Humor, Science and Medicine

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SCAM Cell Therapies

Surprisingly, the best youth is in the chump.

Pictured: Stem cells.  Surprisingly, the best youth is in the chump.

Injecting animal cells into humans for therapeutic reasons has a long history. The most infamous was John Brinkley who injected goat testicles into 16,000 men in the 1920s and 30s to treat impotence. Harriet wrote a review of Charlatan: America’s Most Dangerous Huckster, the Man Who Pursued Him, and the Age of Flimflam, which covers the topic. I wonder who would get the title today. Chopra…Gesundheit.

I had thought this therapy was consigned to the sharps container of history. Of course not. No SCAM ever fades away.

As part of my ID reading I came across the headline “Q Fever Outbreak Among Travelers to Germany Who Received Live Cell Therapy — United States and Canada, 2014.”

It surpasses the classic “Notes from the Field: Campylobacter jejuni Infections Associated with Sheep Castration — Wyoming, 2011” for foolishness, where:

…men reported having used their teeth to castrate some of the lambs.

Really. A most curious way to acquire Campylobacter. But at least the castrators were doing practical, albeit eeewwwwwwww, work. And there is an alternative to teeth, including the Burdizzo Emasculatone, which is:

an elegant little tool especially suited to crushing the spermatic cords of a variety of male mammals. It really helps to make a neat job of what would otherwise be an unpleasantly messy endeavor, and the Burdizzo achieves the goal of bloodless castration admirably.

But I digress and leave to the commenters to make completely inappropriate remarks. Only the SCAM universe can be odder than infectious diseases. (more…)

Posted in: Homeopathy, Humor

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What Should We Do in the Absence of Evidence?

Pictured: Smarter than you.

Pictured: Smarter than you.

For every complex problem, there is an answer that is clear, simple—and wrong.

– H.L. Mencken

Despite my multiple personalities, it seems that only the OCD doctor gets anything done. The Goth cowgirl persona? Lazy. And the NBA playoffs are sucking up an inordinate amount of time. Go Blazers. Just not very far. Sigh. But what are you going to do. Work needs doing and someone has to do it.

This week was one of deadlines. In June I am giving a series of talks at the SMACC conference in Chicago and I have to have all my talks ready to go today. So sometimes to meet all my deadlines I need to re-purpose other material.

Spoiler alert: if you are going to be at SMACC and hear my lectures, stop reading here. Everything I am going say in 6 weeks will follow. And really even if you are going to SMACC, it is a content-free post. You might be better off spending your time elsewhere. (more…)

Posted in: Critical Thinking, Humor, Medical Academia, Science and Medicine

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March Madness: Basketball, Brackets and Psi! Oh my!

complicatedgraph

A complicated graph, shown here mere moments before proving the existence of precognition

In 2011, psychologist Daryl Bem published a highly controversial series of nine experiments designed to tease out the potential existence of precognition, the ability to experience future events. In order to isolate the potential influence of future events on the present, Bem’s experimental design reversed the standard order of psychological investigations. In one experiment, for example, subjects were allowed to practice with random words after having already taken a memory test comprised of some of them.

Bem’s results were controversial for many reasons, mostly because they were positive. But the question of whether or not they should have even been published in the first place, regardless of the results, was raised by many in the scientific and skeptical community. As history has shown us repeatedly, the risk of falsely legitimizing nonsense by publishing positive but typically poorly-designed studies is very real. And negative studies tend to be ignored by believers and policy makers.

Bem’s experimental design was made available from the beginning of his research in 2002, and he encouraged others to perform their own studies. Unfortunately for Bem, attempts at replicating his findings were largely reported, if not always published, as negative. Apparently this was not enough to discourage the intrepid believer. In fact, he currently has a meta-analysis of 90 experiments using the same protocols as his original research under editorial review.

The conclusions of his new analysis [PDF] are, not surprisingly, supportive of the existence of precognition, and in his manuscript he attempts to address all of the skepticism regarding his findings. He even quotes Feynman and implies that physicists are taking the possibility of quantum-based explanations of psi seriously. It’s an interesting read to say the least.

What does NCAA basketball have to do with the topic of psi research?

A new name in the field of parapsychology research has been making headlines since going public with his efforts on the 1st of the month, and not surprisingly the media coverage is increasing now that his findings have been announced. Dr. Mort Fishman, a psychologist and paranormal researcher out of Tuono di Legno University in Florence, has ingeniously incorporated one of the world’s most popular sporting events, the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, into a study of precognitive abilities. The results, if they are to be believed, may change the minds of even the hardiest psi skeptics.

In anticipation of March Madness each year, millions of basketball fans around the world fill out tournament brackets in an attempt to correctly predict which teams will win, and ultimately who will emerge victorious from the championship game. Many make a contest out of it, with office pools now a nearly ubiquitous aspect of life this time of year. ESPN even holds a Tournament Challenge, the winner of which is given a chance for $20,000 and a trip to Hawaii. It might even be Mitt Romney this year, leading some to regret their vote in the 2012 Presidential election.

The reasons people give for their choices are myriad, ranging from a thorough evaluation of the various teams’ stats to something as primitive and powerful as a gut feeling or how cute the mascot is. Fishman, an avid basketball fan who played three seasons for the European Basketball Federation’s Florence Nightingales, set out at the beginning of the NCAA college basketball season to determine if there might be a precognitive component to these choices. Inspired by Bem’s study designs, he also incorporated a reversal of standard protocols into his research.

The typical approach to filling out a bracket is to do so before the first game of the tournament. In fact, most official contests require it in order to avoid any unfair advantage. Fishman, who had a league record foul-to-rebound ratio of 2.5 during his stint on the Nightingales, instead asked study participants to fill out their bracket after the completion of the championship game, which was won by beloved perennial tournament underdogs, the Duke Blue Devils. According to Fishman, the most challenging aspect of the study was preventing participants from being exposed to any potential contamination with information about the teams during the season.

We went to great expense to protect subjects from potential bias or even outright cheating by basing their bracket picks on outside information. They were sequestered in a reasonably priced hotel, without access to the internet, television, or radio from November 1st of last year through Monday night. They were not allowed to speak to anyone outside of each other and us. No family. No friends. I think there were a few old Reader’s Digests and maybe a Redbook in the room. Progress requires sacrifice.

Once the brackets were completed and turned over to the research team, the real science began. Each subject entered a sensory deprivation tank and was randomly exposed to the results of 25 of the tournament’s 67 total games. The brackets were analyzed using math to see if subject picks were retroactively impacted by knowing the result of games after the fact. Choosing to courageously forego the stifling process of peer review, Fishman announced the positive findings at a press conference held in the parking lot of a Buffalo Wild Wings eight minutes from Lucas Oil Stadium on East Washington Street in Indianapolis.

Conclusion

As believers in Science-Based Medicine, we must have open minds when it comes to fringe or even highly implausible claims because you never know when seemingly-incontrovertible assumptions about the natural world will be proven wrong. Science is imperfect and historically has been very wrong on many occasions. Experts used to believe that the Earth was flat and we still don’t know how Tylenol even works.

Intellectual humility is a key component of scientific skepticism. Sometimes ideas which were ridiculed turn out to be true. Having a closed mind might help prevent any untrue new idea from being accepted, but some of them are pretty interesting and already very popular with the public. Who are we to judge truth from fiction?

Though the existence of psi has now been proven by the Fishman study, it doesn’t mean that more studies aren’t needed. In fact, the hard part lies ahead. We need to figure out how best to harness its potential in order to improve patient outcomes, and only science can lead the way in that regard. But we must not be afraid of the unknown or of different approaches to discovery. As Endocrinologist Dr. Deepak Chopra said, “All great changes are preceded by chaos.”

 

 

Posted in: Humor, Science and Medicine

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The DC as PCP? Drug Wars Resume

Coming soon, to a chiropractor's office near you?

Coming soon, to a chiropractor’s office near you?

Chiropractors are once again engaged in intra-fraternal warfare over the chiropractic scope of practice, a saga we’ve chronicled before on SBM. (See the references at end of this post.) Every time it looks like the warring factions have buried their differences, they come rising to the surface like zombies.

The International Chiropractors Association (ICA), representing the “straight” faction, wants chiropractic to continue as a drugless profession. They are happy to detect and correct subluxations, thereby removing “nerve interference” and “allowing the body to heal itself” in the tradition of Daniel David Palmer. But the American Chiropractic Association (ACA) has bigger fish to fry.

This time, the ICA is upset that the ACA House of Delegates up and decided to establish a “College of Pharmacology and Toxicology,” which would operate under the auspices of the ACA Council on Diagnosis and Internal Disorders. The ACA’s announcement of the “College” is rather vague on details:

The purpose of the College is to further educate the chiropractic profession on clinical matters related to the widespread use of both prescription and over-the-counter medications and nutritional supplements.

I e-mailed the ACA several days ago asking for more information but have yet to receive a reply.

The ICA sees this move as yet another attempt by:

forces at work within some organizations actively promoting incorporating drugs into the chiropractic scope of practice.

(more…)

Posted in: Chiropractic, Herbs & Supplements, Humor, Legal, Nutrition, Pharmaceuticals, Politics and Regulation

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Alternative Medical Alert Systems in the News

Belvidere, NE- Bref Albright was taking an unfamiliar route home from work because of a stalled 18-wheeler when he passed by the cell phone tower. As the electromagnetic field washed over him, symptoms of his sensitivity quickly set in. He first noticed a tingling sensation throughout his body and an odd dryness in his mouth and throat. Then nausea and headache. Once the palpitations and difficulty concentrating on the road began, he knew he had to pull over in order to avoid an accident.

An elderly woman, shown here about to be strangled by a conventional doctor and/or pharmaceutical industry representative, is wearing an EmergenQi pendant

An elderly woman, shown here about to be strangled by a conventional doctor and/or pharmaceutical industry representative, is wearing an EmergenQi pendant

“Getting off the road was the right thing to do,” Albright explained. “I couldn’t risk injuring somebody else if I lost control of my truck, but it left me vulnerable. I was a sitting duck!” As expected, Albright’s condition worsened because of continued exposure to the deadly yet fundamental force of nature. Despite blurry vision and difficulty remembering his wife’s cell phone number, he managed to place a call. No answer. His wife, home brewing kombucha, had left her phone in another room.

Albright, a 53-year-old taxidermist for the Belvidere Parks Commission, then pressed the red button that activated his alternative medical emergency alert system. Within seconds, a satellite had pinpointed the location of Albright’s pendant and a team of emergency alternative medicine experts was soon on its way. While on route, a member of the team was even able to contact Albright’s wife Norleen and ask a few questions about Bref’s alternative medical history.
(more…)

Posted in: Acupuncture, Diagnostic tests & procedures, Humor

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