The Weekly Waluation of the Weasel Words of Woo #8

Playing with More than a Full Deck!

The passage submitted in the W^5/2 #7 wasn’t an easy one, but intrepid translators, for the most part, offered waluable insights:

Readers were virtually unanimous in the opinion that author Jean Watson, when she uttered it, must have been in an, er, alternative state of consciousness. I can’t imagine what gave them that idea. I mean look at her. No, the answer lies elsewhere, but was unknown even to your faithful judge until after he had posted that fateful entry: Ms. Watson can be nothing other than a High Priestess in the Mysterious Order that shall henceforth be known as the Hazy and Harrying Hermeneutics of Hermano©!

Michelle B added crucial points about Ms. Watson’s literary prowess, a vital, eternal theme here at the W^5/2.

Recognizing that he was in over his head, Overshoot cleverly borrowed a periscope from a previous W^5/2 and brought the whole thing into focus (damn, who woulda figured that those Gods and Goddesses could clean up so nice, way out there in the void?).

DVMKurmes correctly invoked “copies of Stonehenge” to interpret Ms. Watson’s mystical words. Such mysticism always involves copies of Stonehenge. Doesn’t it?

Michael X seemed surprised that dissipating a temporal flux in the gravometric vortex would fix the pinging sound in his car. Well, duh. Where did he do his industrial arts?

Spiv solved the calendar riddle, which I gotta admit had me stumped. Oh wow: is that blue, like, the blue stuff you c’n put in yer terlet tank? And what’n the hell is that dang deal way down in there? Wait just a goddamn minute….is that Overshoot peering out of a Yellow Submarine?

Stu (m’man!) seems to think that just because he’s, like, a god around here means he can just like write random words and get away with it. Well I got news for him: here at the W^5/2 we’re on a strictly “what have you done for me lately” basis and that just ain’t gonna…er, wait a minute, uh…hmmm…OK (my bad): that’s exactly what Jean Watson did in the first place! (Plus, Stu flashed pretty much my entire life before me, so it couldn’a been entirely random.)

Yeah, but did anyone actually “get” it? Well, yes, I think (since I’m not entirely certain what “it” is): Overshoot and DVMKurmes’ translations were on the money for my money, calling attention as they did to Ms. Watson’s apparent distaste for pesky old destructive and violent rational thinking insofar as some people might have the temerity to pretend that it has anything to do with, like, figuring out diseases.

And the Winner is…

Those translations took a back seat, however, to that of a newcomer to the venerated W^5/2:

Beowulff, who combined timely parody with the erudition of that endangered species once known as a “liberal education” (Michelle B: is that gun loaded?) to produce the hands-down funniest, rightest-on, clearest-cut Winning Waluation of the Week©!

This Week’s Entry: from the Bountiful Benighted Babblings of Befuddled Boobs®

This week’s entry, in keeping with the current theme of my regular blog, is quoted from an article titled “Preventing Breast Cancer.” It was written by a former faculty member at Bastyr University who is a co-author of the American Association of Naturopathic Physicians (AANP) Position Paper on Homeopathy:

So, what can I do to lower my risk of getting breast cancer?

2. Keep your breasts happy and healthy. Love them and yourself. We often develop illnesses because of our own unresolved feelings and lack of love for ourselves. Our breasts are beautiful, no matter what their size or shape. Breasts and wombs are the primordial symbols of womanhood, not just motherhood. Appreciate your breasts as a bountiful source of your love and creative energy. Deal with any unresolved maternal, nurturing, and relationship issues so they’re not lurking in your breasts….Visualize your breasts overflowing with love, nurturing, and creativity. And let that love and nurturance heal you and all beings.

Happy Waluating!

Note to TsuDhoNimh (or anyone else wishing to submit a Potential Passage of Woo for the W^5/2): go for it. My email address is public; you can find it with a little digging. I say that not to be coy, merely to discourage indiscriminate use. I already get a zillion/day, so I trust y’all not to abuse it.

The Misleading Language and Weekly Waluation of the Weasel Words of Woo series:

  1. Lies, Damned Lies, and ‘Integrative Medicine’
  2. Integrative Medicine: “Patient-Centered Care” is the new Medical Paternalism

Posted in: Humor, Science and the Media

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